Yang, Matchmaker Extraordinaire
by unknownsound
Summary: Yang gets stuck escorting Cardin to detention two weeks before Beacon's Halloween Ball. Surprising things happen. Squeaky clean RWBY oneshot. A little fluffy. Cardin/Velvet(Bunny Girl)


Two weeks away from the Halloween Ball and Yang was a happy girl. Everyone was giddy about who they were going to ask to the dance or what their costumes were – Ruby was going on about throwing together a werewolf costume; Blake was going a black cat (which Yang was pretty sure was just an excuse to not wear her bow to school); and Weiss had custom-ordered a queen outfit. Yang wasn't that interested in Halloween, but she was pretty sure she already had a date with the buffet table. Walking back to her dorm, she could already imagine herself stuffing her mouth with candy apples, pie, chicken nuggets, pizza, pumpkin juice…. In the middle of her cravings, she was interrupted by a voice.

"Miss Yang Xiao Long!" Inwardly she groaned. She knew that voice – Glenda Goodwitch. What was she in trouble for now?

"Yes, Ms. Goodwitch?" she tried not to grumble, turning around.

"I just wanted to inform you that your name just came up as our new hall monitor for this week. Congratulations; you start today."

_Congratulations?!_ Yang thought. The hall monitor was basically the faculty's errand boy. They had to escort students to after-school detention, help file papers, and bunch of other really, really boring stuff. _Now I have play school bounty hunter on top of classes? And it's only two weeks until the Halloween Ball? I won't have time to plan my costume __**or**__ prepare my stomach!_

"I can see that you're thrilled," Glenda cut in, registering Yang's expression with amusement. "Your first assignment is to find and escort Cardin Winchester to detention. He was supposed to report there an hour ago. I don't know what's wrong with that boy… Anyway, you have several classes together so I'm sure you can find him. That is all." And with a wave, she walked off to ruin some other kid's Halloween.

Fuming, Yang could do nothing but stalk off in search of Cardin. _How the heck should I know where he is?! So we're in the same classes – so is __every other__ first year! It's not like we're friends or anything. Like I'd be friends with a jerk like that, anyway…_ **WHUMP**.

Not looking where she was going, Yang stomped her way right into another student. It was Bunny Girl. Small and mousy as ever, she went right to the ground.

"Oh, sorry. I'm a klutz sometimes," she apologized holding out her hand. Rather than take it, she quickly hopped up from the ground

"I-it's alright. It's kinda my fault, too…"

"Okay, cool. Anyway, have you seen Cardin around?" At the mention of his name, Yang swore she saw Bunny Girl jump. She'd forgotten that she was one of Cardin's favorite targets, even more than the other Faunus' in school. "Forget it; it's not your problem. I'll just keep looking." Yang got a few steps away before Bunny Girl turned around.

"In his dorm," she called. "He was in his dorm, with his teammates."

Yang suddenly noticed her rabbit ears (she tried not to stare); one of them was scrunched up at the tip, almost as if a big, fat bully whose name started with a "C" had been yanking on them. Again. Suddenly a few choice words she'd been fighting back all year came bubbling to the surface.

"Y'know, it's probably none of my business, but you shouldn't let Team Cardinal push you around. They're jerks with more muscle than brains! I know they probably outsize you, but that's no excuse to make fun of someone. Your team should be defending you, and if they won't, call me and I'll knock those jerkfaces back into combat school!"

Bunny Girl looked stunned by the outburst. Then, weirdly enough, she started to giggle. "Thanks. But I can handle myself. You know, when I first came here, I actually thought Cardin was kinda cute. Then he just turned out to be a bigoted jerk…" Judging by her sudden flush, she didn't mean to say that out loud. "Anyway, good luck on your search," she waved and sped off.

_Huh. Weird._ Yang shrugged and walked off in the direction of Cardinal's dorm room, down the hall from her own. Knocking on the door, it was Russell who answered.

"What do you want?" he sneered.

"Is Cardin here?"

"Who wants to know?" he crossed his arms in a way she was sure he thought was threatening.

"Look," she growled, advancing on him with **real** menace. "I already don't want to be here. I should be in my dorm, working on my costume, and daydreaming of sweet Halloween candy. Instead, I'm standing here, in front of your idiot dorm, looking for your idiot team leader, because he's too much of an idiot to leave people alone and stay out of idiot detention. So unless you want me backhand you into the sun, I suggest you tell me: Is. He. Here?"

"Yeah, I'm here," Cardin appeared, pushing his cowering teammate out of the way.

"Good," she sighed, eyes changing back to their normal color. "Now let's get this over with."

Leading the way across the school, the pair walked in silence. Silence. She hated silence.

"So… Why'd you skip anyway? Detention is only copying books in the library while listening to Port's lame stories. You'd be done in an hour. Now you've got 2 hours with Goodwitch for bailing."

"I had 2 hours with her, anyway. Threw some scab in the lockers and set the coordinates to the middle of the Emerald Forest."

"Oh, yeah." Yang remembered hearing a rumor about that in the cafeteria; the "scab" in question was a Faunus boy, one of Bunny Girl's friends. "Hey, what the heck's your problem with Faunus' anyway? What did they ever do to you?" At least Weiss had a good excuse - Yang wasn't sure she'd be so okay with Faunus' either if they were constantly targeting her family. But she was pretty sure that Cardin's family didn't run a major Dust mining corporation.

"Who cares?"

"I care. And so does Bunny Girl. You really pick on her. What, do you have a secretly have a schoolboy crush on her or something?" Cardin immediately stopped walking and – she wouldn't have believed it if she wasn't there – flushed bright pink.

"Oh my God, you totally do."

"Talk and you're dead."

"Ho. Ly. Crap." Yang shook the shock off. "Well if you like her, why the heck do you pick on her so much? Do you want her to go out with you or hate your guts?"

"I-I didn't say that!" he blurted defensively and blushed brighter. "'Sides, my folks would never go for me dating a Faunus."

"So? Your folks hate the color blue – what, are you never gonna wear it again? Besides, they aren't here now are they?" she purred.

"Not like it matters. Like you said, she probably hates me by now."

"…..Maybe. Maybe she doesn't."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Cardin fixed her with a wary and – dare she say it? – hopeful stare.

"Ohhh, now I get it! You're one of those guys who's so emotionally immature that when they fall in love they get scared and pick on them 'cause they can't handle feelings, aren't you?! Let me guess; that 'scab' actually tried to ask Bunny Girl to the Halloween Ball, didn't he?"

"Velvet."

"What?"

"Her name is Velvet. And I'm not immature!"

"Hey, I'm not the one who bullies my crush then shoots a romantic rival into the Emerald Forest to be eaten by Grimm. Look, you spent the whole school year being a butt to her; doesn't mean you can't apologize."

"Apologize for what?" He growled, crossing his arms and reverting back to his old self.

"Oh ho ho, where do I even begin?" Yang put her hands on her hips. "How about for yanking on her ears every day, laughing at her, calling her a freak, insulting her heritage, bullying her teammates, and generally acting like a butthead?"

"I don't _yank_ on them…" he mumbled. Finally he sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. "Fine… I'm sorry."

"**To her, Cardin.** And every other one of your victims while you're at it."

"Hey, I'm not Santa Claus here. Pushing scabs around is kinda my thing."

"Welp, guess I'll just go help Jane find someone who isn't a jerk." She shrugged and began to walk away.

"Ugh, fine! I'll leave people alone," he sighed. "You know, you're surprisingly good at this."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you hit like a guy and eat like a guy, so I figured you think like a guy."

"…You're as smooth as gravel, Cardin."

"Whatever." They continued walking in silence for a few minutes. "So, you think apologizing will make her feel better."

"Probably. You were a pretty big jerk to her; whether she forgives you or not is up to her. But apologizing is a great first step."

"So say she does; then what?"

"Maybe tell her your feelings? Tell her your heart secretly skips a beat at the sight of her velvety ears, and your only wish is to take her to the Halloween Ball and gaze into her enchanting eyes in the moonlight!"

"…Riiiight…" He looked like he was going to say more, when Velvet herself appeared around the corner.

"*gasp* Here's your chance! Gogogo!" Yang shoved him into the hallway ahead of her. Cardin hesitated for a moment then began walking toward her. "Remember: you're really sorry. And compliments never hurt!" She called after him while she found a column to hide behind.

_Grr, too far away… If only I had super-hearing!_ Farther along the hall, Cardin stopped Bunny Girl. As expected, she backed away and looked scared, but she didn't run. She registered with amusement that Cardin's ears got redder and redder as he spoke. _She hasn't punched him in the gut yet, so that's good._

"Hey, Yang. Um, what're you doing?"

"Ruby! Get down!" She dragged her sister into a crouch behind her. "I'm getting Cardin a date with Bunny Girl."

"What? Really? Why would you help him – he's a bully. And with her?!"

"Ruby, sometimes in life you realize people aren't what they seem. Well, they're exactly what they seem but kinda not. Am I making sense?"

"Nope."

"Oh, well. Anyway, Cardin's gonna ask her out to the Ball. Wanna watch?"

"Watch what? They're gone."

"What?!" Yang jumped up and stared into the now empty hallway. "Cardin!" Propelled through the hallways by the power of Rage Mode, Yang tore through the school until she found Cardin and Velvet standing in front of her dorm room still talking.

"How _**dare**_ you take off to go make out! You're still in detention, buddy!" she roared, punching him in the back and sending him into the wall.

"Will you lower your voice?!" Cardin coughed, picking himself up. "I was just carrying her books."

"It's true!" Jane pitched in. "I'm as surprised as anyone, but it's true."

"Oh. Well that's nice of him. Did he extend any other nice gestures, say of the Halloween-y kind?"

"Let's go." Cardin dragged Yang away from the door.

"Well? _Did_ you ask her out to the Ball?" she grinned.

"You'll find out at the party," he grumbled, but she swore she saw a smile on his lips. Finally they made their way to Glenda's office.

"Thank you for delivering our errant troublemaker, Yang…**a full 30 minutes after I asked you**. What on Earth took you two so long?!"

"You see, Ms. Goodwitch, we were delayed by the power…of _love_." Yang declared with great panache. Cardin facepalmed.

"I see… Well, see to it that 'love' doesn't make you tardy in your duties again, or you may find yourself in Cardin's place. As for you, Mr. Winchester, there's a stack of history books and blank piece of paper with your name on it."

"Great…" he sighed, walking into the office before Glenda shut it behind him.

* * *

"By the way…" Weiss started. It was after dark and Team RWBY was settling down to bed. "What's this I hear about you setting Cardin up on a date?"

"I am so good at matchmaking, you guys," Yang grinned from her bunk. "I got Cardin to confess that he liked Bunny Girl, then he asked her out to the Halloween Ball."

"Are we thinking of the same Cardin?" Ruby questioned. "Big, brown hair, carries a mace, actively bullies every Faunus he sees?"

"Yep, that's the one. I'm so great, I can turn that lunkhead into a softie. Maybe I should set the rest of them up with Faunus', too. Blake, I heard Russell is single~."

"No."

"Okay." She sat up. "Hey, maybe I should start a romance column in the school paper!"

"It takes a bit more than one freak success to call yourself a relationship expert," Weiss pointed out. "For instance, say I liked a boy who didn't notice me – what would you suggest?"

"Punch him."

"…'Punch him'."

"Stab him, freeze him with Dust or whatever. You just need to get his attention, right?"

"…Yang, please don't write this column."

"Too late! I am Yang, matchmaker extraordinaire! And I shall rid the school of hatred and strife with the power of _love_! Blake, you sure about Russell?"

"Very."


End file.
